Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
