He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
