shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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