so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
