We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
