We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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