friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
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he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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