I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
