Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
