so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
