batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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