We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She's just so happy...and so naked.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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