Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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