MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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