I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
accomplished twins. life is a go
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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