all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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