i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
