You surviving the open bar?
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Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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