let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
