did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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