I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
