So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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