i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
