like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
even my farts smell like vagina
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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