Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
