This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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