Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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