Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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