Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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