i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
