I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
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