I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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