I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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