I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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