i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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