He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
