so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I touched a dick in church today
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
