But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
