I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer