The best revenge is premature balding
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.