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Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
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