Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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