God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
