So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
