Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
