oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
