you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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