ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
