hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
