It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
