Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
