i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
