I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Four minutes until I can fart!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
