You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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