This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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