addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
