my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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