where am i from again
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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