I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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