The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
