I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
