I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
