i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
