dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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