can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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