tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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