.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
