So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
