I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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