Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
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She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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